


Being Patient

by OhanaHoku



Series: The Raven-Haired Warrior, A Raven-Haired Child [4]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Child Abuse, Child Soldiers, Childhood Trauma, Conditioning, Friendship, Gen, Hurt Merlin (Merlin), Hurt Mordred (Merlin), Male Friendship, Merlin Has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Merlin Needs a Hug (Merlin), One Shot, One Shot Collection, PTSD, Past Child Abuse, Protective Gwaine (Merlin), Protective Knights (Merlin), Protective Merlin (Merlin), Season/Series 05, merlin has issues, part of a series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-21
Updated: 2020-06-21
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:22:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24832309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OhanaHoku/pseuds/OhanaHoku
Summary: Gwaine worries about Merlin, and the servant helps Mordred understand why Arthur changed his mind.
Relationships: Gwaine & Merlin (Merlin), Knights of the Round Table & Merlin (Merlin), Merlin & Mordred (Merlin)
Series: The Raven-Haired Warrior, A Raven-Haired Child [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1764406
Comments: 25
Kudos: 314





	Being Patient

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Maxine_13](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maxine_13/gifts).



> I have so many updates to get to, but my mind just keeps screaming at me to write more of this au! So, here we go again! This part is gifted to Maxine_13 who specifically commented on how they liked my revamp of Merlin and Mordred's relationship. I hope you enjoy this installment! Thank you so much for your support! <3

“Do you think Merlin’s going to be alright?” Percival quietly asked as he pulled on his hauberk and glanced over at Gwaine.

“Wouldn’t think so after last night.” Gwaine murmured, fastening his belt in place with a worried furrow on his brow. He’d been worried about the lad all night, even having gone to see him, only to find his bedchamber empty.

“I just can’t believe he went through that,” Elyan said, joining in the conversation as he slipped on his boots.

“It was a shock to all of us. Arthur, too. I wonder how he’s handling it.” Leon mused, pulling on his coif and letting the hood fall back. 

“I don’t care how he’s handling it, as long he doesn’t give Merlin any grief over it,” Gwaine grumbled, a bit angry at their king for treating Merlin so harshly the night before.

“You know, Gwaine. You’re about as protective as a mother bear when it comes to Merlin.” Elyan told him, nudging his arm as Percival chuckled along with the queen’s brother.

He gave them an easy grin for their light teasing. “It’s called protective instinct. First time I ever met him was when I saved him and the royal backside from a rowdy group of bandits at a bar.”

His smile faded as he thought about their meeting. “I wonder now if Merlin had really needed my help.” He reflected. “If he was trained for four years as he said, he must be skilled. Especially to be trained in the way he was, where it was a matter of survival, not choice.”

The four of them fell silent as they all pondered just how dangerous Merlin really was. His tale pictured himself as a warrior. Young, but still a killer. Yet, none of them could reconcile that with their image of Merlin, the clumsy servant born of a humble background.

“He’ll tell us when he’s ready,” Percival said softly, the others nodding in silent agreement.

None of them wanted to push Merlin like Arthur had the night before. Gwaine couldn’t stand to see the hurt and defeat in Merlin’s eyes again. So he could wait until Merlin was ready to let him in. He could be patient. He always was.

***** ***** ***** ***** *****

Merlin bypassed accompanying Arthur to practice, and instead headed straight for the knight’s quarters to find Mordred already packed and waiting. “Morning. Ready to go?” He asked.

The young boy nodded but made no move to get up from the cot he was sitting on. “I am, but I have a question first.”

The servant held back a groan. He just wanted to get his chores done with as fast as possible so he could reduce the chance of Arthur trying to talk to him. But Mordred didn’t know anything about the night before, so he had to be patient. “What is it?”

Mordred hesitated for a moment before answering. “I had heard rumors that Arthur was going to offer me a knighthood. But now I’m expected to leave. So I need to know. Are you the one who convinced him not to?” He accused, looking up at Merlin with a look of betrayal.

Merlin sighed heavily, walking over to sit on the cot next to him. He should have seen this coming, but he’d been so relieved to get out of Arthur’s presence that he hadn’t given Mordred much thought.

He considered how to answer for a moment before speaking. “I am. But not for the reason you think. This has nothing to do with prophecy.” He said quietly.

“Then, why? Why is Arthur making me leave?” He asked, looking conflicted like he didn’t know whether he should believe Merlin or not.

“Because of your age,” Merlin answered, looking him right in the eye. “You’re too young to be a knight, so Arthur plans on asking you when you’re older.”

“I am not a child!” Mordred exclaimed, standing up indignantly. “And I can handle a sword just fine. Arthur knows that, so why does my age matter?”

Merlin closed his eyes, bowing his head as he leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “What goes through your mind when you kill someone?” He inquired quietly.

“What do you mean?” Mordred asked warily.

“When you kill someone, how do you feel?” He asked, lifting his head as he looked up at him.

The druid seemed to take a moment before answering. “Guilty. My stomach hurts, and I always wish I could forget what I’ve done afterward.”

It wasn’t the most revealing answer, but Merlin nodded, knowing that it was hard to put such feelings into words. “People your age shouldn’t have to go through that, Mordred. Arthur is trying to protect you. He’s not casting you aside. That’s why he asked me to help you, so I can find a place closeby for you to stay.”

The boy finally nodded, relenting. “So, where am I to be staying?” He asked.

Merlin stood, smiling a bit. “I’ll ask around to see if someone has a spare room nearby, but for now, you can stay with me and Gaius. It’ll be better than sleeping in a room with a dozen snoring knights, in any case.” He said with a grin that felt too wide on his face.

But Mordred smiled and grabbed his bag, not noticing in the slightest that Merlin’s grin was too sharp, nor how amusement was missing from his eyes.

**Author's Note:**

> Word Count - 904. I hope you all enjoyed that! As always, comments are very appreciated. They're what my soul thrives on! Gwen may make a showing in the next part, so stay tuned! ;D
> 
> My [tumblr](https://ohanahoku-ao3.tumblr.com/)


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